I don’t even know where to begin, but here goes…
It’s only on reflection of the year just gone, when you really sit down and think about it,
that you realise how much one year you can truly grow as in individual,
January 2016 I was a broken person, pretending to be happy and continuing to smile on the outside I felt no one didn’t care about me.
There are things only a handful of my closest friends and family know, but it was a very hard time for me.
All I hope is if you're unhappy with something in your life, and you are being completely clouded by negativity and losing sight of who you are because of how someone treats you, please have a long hard think. We only get one chance at life, and you deserve nothing but happiness and to be surrounded by people who bring out the best in you this is exactly what I have done.
Since I got help from a therapist everything turned around for me, and I became me again (as cheesy as that sounds, I was beginning to get my spark back).
I’ve started photogthey and all the glam that goes with it and deluging into the gore, making scars out of latex for Halloween. Getting creative with polymer clay creating charms and Christmas ordements.
Learning to swim
Water was my nemesis. Always has been. When I was a small child I hated getting my straight hair wet and the one time I do remember going to a swimming lesson (it was sort of compulsory at school but I managed to always get out of it),
Let’s be honest, it’s always difficult to try something new or learn a skill for the first time; especially when you’re a little older, wiser and you can almost taste fear!
Yes, I feared water.
Its power as an element is a force to be reckoned with and therefore I decided to leave it well alone.
But there was always that niggle that it was something I hadn’t conquered and I wanted to change that.
My First Official Swimming Lesson was learning how to float and how to keep up in the water to my surprise I loved it, when the lesson was done I felt Exhausted but happy I’d finally 'taken the plunge'
For me It was the not knowing if I could actually master what I was setting out to do, anxiety because I thought people might look and laugh at me and the embarrassment as I hadn’t been in a swimming costume since having a child. So no, this isn’t something that is going to come easily.
One of the biggest problems for me is simply getting motivated. I can’t just jump into the pool, jump out and get on with my day. It takes serious preparation. The first time I went for a lesson, I forgot to pack my goggles (whoops)! The second time I forgot my moisturiser. It was getting quite frustrating to put it lightly. So I’ve had to have a swimming bag prepared and ready so I don’t forget anything ever again!
One reason why I hated the idea of swimming was when I was younger back in cubert primary school, our class went to Newquay water world everything was fine until I hit the water I noticed one of the tiles was broken and in the lesson I accidently cut the bottom of my foot on the broken tile and after that I always stayed behind back at school while my class mates went. Because of that I never went to a leisure centre until this year.
My steady progress in the pool
In terms of what is going on in the water, it’s been a slow but steady progression. Once I’m in the water and have stopped complaining about it being cold, I get quite into it.
I’ve been learning bi-lateral breathing for my front crawl and have started my breaststroke technique. I managed a full length stroke, but not yet at the deep end,
But one things for sure, there’s progress and that’s the main thing!
I’m glade I decided to bite the bullet and start blogging it’s a nice thing being able to write things down and to have others read I’m just glade that I’ve had no negative feedback as of yet.
I must be honest I was very nervous of writing my feelings down I think it’s easy for people to forget that underneath blogposts, I am a normal person with problems just like you, I just don’t always talk about them.
So there we have it, the best and worst year of my life all rolled into one blog post. Thank you all for joining me on my journey.
I’m so pleased that I get to share these things with you all, and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I hope you all had an amazing year and that you if you didn’t, you learnt from it and 2017 will be a fresh start for you.
Goodbye 2016 Hello 2017